Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Remembering Loved Ones

 For many, Facebook has become a highly accessible platform for memorials and tributes for grieving, which brings me to the fact that I'm facing an anniversary soon.   Every year I post a loving Tribute for my daughter, Chantelle and at times I have been made aware from a select few that they do not get the whole tribute thing, especially after many years have past.  For me it is ultimately my chosen catharsis, a way to keep my daughters memory safe guarded.  I made a promise to my daughter to not ever forget....Don't forget me when I'm gone....
I have observed that Facebook appears to be a natural way for people to work through grief over the loss of a loved one. For others, reminders on social media of a loved one's death can be more painful than helpful. 
So what is the answer? 
Many people have learned that their friends and family have very different ideas of what constitutes "normal" grieving" — especially when someone takes his or her grief public on social networks
Social media etiquette surrounding death is a delicate and highly individual concept.  What one person views as a loving tribute could translate as incredibly poor taste or downright offensive to others. 
I personally feel criticisms and misunderstanding arise when a memorial is misinterpreted. I know for me when posting a tribute it has been seen as me not moving on or that I'm not doing well or the unforgivable statement..."she never got over the death of her daughter"...ugh!  Well here's a news flash,  we don't ever get over it...but we do eventually accept it. But that doesn't automatically translate to never mentioning our loved again, whether it be be in passing or as a memorial on Facebook.  By doing so doesn't mean that we're wallowing in the past...it means that we loved deeply and that wonderful loving memories are realized through these tributes. This is what I know for sure ...if posting my tributes for my daughter Chantelle, doesn't upset me, I shouldn't have to console others who look on from a distance...because it makes them uncomfortable...Perhaps it evokes the realization of their own mortality or pain that hasn't been resolved in their own life.  Death is apart of life...period.
Memorializing  Profiles....
I believe that social media can actually ease the process for some. "Being able to access the lost one's profile after death is beneficial.  It allows a connection to others who loved him or her, a source of memories and humor to share and an opportunity to say 'goodbye' or 'I'm missing you' in a way that can soften the blow and move the healing process along.  
I understand how difficult it can be for people to be reminded of those who are no longer with them, which is why it's a slippery slope when posting heartfelt tributes.
But should it be? After all pain is apart of the healing process.
Facebook very much helped in my time of grieving by making it so easy to connect with family and friends.  In some cases created lasting bonds with sharing mine and others grief. I still visit my cousins memorialized profile to remember things we shared and to peruse her photos and posts.
Grief varies wildly for each individual, and that it usually doesn't progress orderly, like steps in a staircase. 
As time passes, the sting of losing someone you care about also fades but it never goes away.  Grieving is for the most part a solo journey and if by posting a poem or prose in the form of a tribute helps that process then I think a certain amount of respect should be offered to these individuals  who are brave enough to do so.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

A New Venture

A new venture... A new Blog...
Petal & Lace Cottage is where I'll share my own decor ideas and vignettes 
as well as from others who has inspired me. 
Please stop by

Saturday, June 7, 2014

ღ в α в ч ღ ι о ν ε ღ в α в ч ღ ι о ν ε ღ

Our world has been filled with a little more love today...
Congratulations to our son Brian and our
daughter-in-law Julia on their first wee baby,
Hudson David ღ


 June 7 2014 3:11 am
7lbs 1 oz


Monday, May 12, 2014

My Sister Barbara

 There's nothing more precious in this world
then the feeling of being wanted 
- Diana Dors
Today I grieve for the passing of my estranged sister, Barbara

Emotion filled my eyes.
Not tears.
I have none left, since you withdrew

All I saw was a stranger
All I see now is an estranged sister
Hurt, forgotten, confused and estranged
I missed her...my big sister...I will always miss her

If I were to cry
I would cry for the things I can't change
I would cry for time you spent alone
I would cry for the ailments you incurred
I become saddened thinking of a life lost
For all the pain you must have known

I always loved her and wanted more than anything
for her to value and love me back.
Barbara, I cry for the person you once were...
Memories are etched and perhaps with time will hide our sorrow.

Many times I was filled with false hope.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I regret,
the relationship we could have had.

 For my sister Barbara ♥

The news harrowed my very soul

It cut deep exposing unforeseen anguish

My heavy heart weeps for thy

Grieved to lose you so suddenly

The sting of death breaks us open

Exposing our hearts to bleed

Bereft of the fullness of time

My thoughts are seized by the hereafter

My imaginings are held captive, unable to flee
I will not say goodbye

Instead, I will bid you an emotional farewell

♥ Love your sister Helena

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Joined Bloglovin today!

 I started using Bloglovin’, which I am loving.
And it has an App for Iphone which you can download app from here :)

Follow along with me.

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