Thursday, February 26, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
.•*¨* Lately, I've been working on not feeling guilty for not living the life others think I should or want me to live. To finally "LIVING" my way. I'm also all for cutting away drama, negativity and misguided opinions. To cherish and support those who stand by me and letting go of those who have let me down. To ignore opinions from others which they cannot defend. To do away with abrasiveness and finally cutting myself some slack, because we all know how unkind we can be to ourselves.
So Here's to changing ones mind and heart when life takes an unexpected turn. Not everyone can understand your journey in life. Standing in your own truth can leave you blacklisted for challenging the status quo. I don't mind not being liked. We certainly can't like everyone, but it's heartbreakingly sad to be misunderstood.
With that said the biggest shift for me will be when I stop needing to know the why's when things go awry. We are all flawed humans and I have decided to accept the messiness of it all. You have to take the bitter with the sweet. To respond in anger is an endorsement of a persons attitude. Walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. No one is perfect. It is in accepting yourself in your "perfect imperfection" that inner peace begins.
.•*¨* Written with a clear conscious and a heavy heart – Helena
The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people's words.”
― Fernando Pessoa
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
I have observed that Facebook appears to be a natural way for people to work through grief over the loss of a loved one. For others, reminders on social media of a loved one's death can be more painful than helpful.
So what is the answer?
Many people have learned that their friends and family have very different ideas of what constitutes "normal" grieving" — especially when someone takes his or her grief public on social networks
Social media etiquette surrounding death is a delicate and highly individual concept. What one person views as a loving tribute could translate as incredibly poor taste or downright offensive to others.
I personally feel criticisms and misunderstanding arise when a memorial is misinterpreted. I know for me when posting a tribute it has been seen as me not moving on or that I'm not doing well or the unforgivable statement..."she never got over the death of her daughter"...ugh! Well here's a news flash, we don't ever get over it...but we do eventually accept it. But that doesn't automatically translate to never mentioning our loved again, whether it be be in passing or as a memorial on Facebook. By doing so doesn't mean that we're wallowing in the past...it means that we loved deeply and that wonderful loving memories are realized through these tributes. This is what I know for sure ...if posting my tributes for my daughter Chantelle, doesn't upset me, I shouldn't have to console others who look on from a distance...because it makes them uncomfortable...Perhaps it evokes the realization of their own mortality or pain that hasn't been resolved in their own life. Death is apart of life...period.
I believe that social media can actually ease the process for some. "Being able to access the lost one's profile after death is beneficial. It allows a connection to others who loved him or her, a source of memories and humor to share and an opportunity to say 'goodbye' or 'I'm missing you' in a way that can soften the blow and move the healing process along.
I understand how difficult it can be for people to be reminded of those who are no longer with them, which is why it's a slippery slope when posting heartfelt tributes.
But should it be? After all pain is apart of the healing process.
Facebook very much helped in my time of grieving by making it so easy to connect with family and friends. In some cases created lasting bonds with sharing mine and others grief. I still visit my cousins memorialized profile to remember things we shared and to peruse her photos and posts.
Grief varies wildly for each individual, and that it usually doesn't progress orderly, like steps in a staircase.
As time passes, the sting of losing someone you care about also fades but it never goes away. Grieving is for the most part a solo journey and if by posting a poem or prose in the form of a tribute helps that process then I think a certain amount of respect should be offered to these individuals who are brave enough to do so.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Our world has been filled with a little more love today...
Congratulations to our son Brian and our
daughter-in-law Julia on their first wee baby,
Hudson David ღ
Baby HUDSON DAVID
7lbs 1 oz
Monday, May 12, 2014
Emotion filled my eyes.
I have none left, since you withdrew
All I saw was a stranger
All I see now is an estranged sister
Hurt, forgotten, confused and estranged
I missed her...my big sister...I will always miss her
If I were to cry
I would cry for the things I can't change
I would cry for time you spent alone
I would cry for the ailments you incurred
I become saddened thinking of a life lost
For all the pain you must have known
I always loved her and wanted more than anything
for her to value and love me back.
Barbara, I cry for the person you once were...
Memories are etched and perhaps with time will hide our sorrow.
Many times I was filled with false hope.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I regret,
the relationship we could have had.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Saturday, December 21, 2013
☽☆☾ On the 21st day of Christmas
I am grateful to Bless the Winter Solstice ☽☆☾
Take a deep breath in...
Solstice Sun, Shine Bright ☽☆☾
At this magical beautiful
It is natural to look back
And remember all the good things
From Christmas Past
The human Heart’s so
Encouraged by Love
That the Christmas memories
Magnify in our Imaginations
and comfort our Human Spirit
During this gentle Season
May you find time to
Enjoy the beauty of
Each quiet moment
To see the sacred
We must slow down
And find stillness
May Peace Love and Light surround you as
The Christmas Spirit Whispers to your Heart
© Hεlεɳa ωнιтє ωίԵђ Լ♥ϋє
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
From the past
Rise from my soul
And pool in my eyes
Today I am reminded how fleeting our time here on earth truly is. It has been twenty one years since my daughter Chantelle passed away…I recall a conversation with Chantelle weeks before her accident where she thought that people just forget about you after we die. Her viewpoint came from the loss of a friend, who only weeks before died from injuries suffered in a car accident. She was troubled by how seemingly everyone just continued on after the funeral. Soon after Chantelle’s accident, I vowed that I would keep her memory alive.
I’m often asked how I continue to cope after the unthinkable happens. It is impossible to convey how lost I felt at the time, however the way that I’ve been able to break free from the bottomless pit of grief is to trust the wisdom of my intuition – my ability to know something without rational evidence that proves it to be so. Life after life. To be so sure of something, yet unable to articulate it in words. I consider that to be my greatest spiritual gift. While searching for the need to find meaning in all that happened, I have learned to also respect the mystery of it all.
Throughout this journey I have taken many backward glances. The past is such a delicate thing. Most of the time memories are fragmented, like shards of broken glass. Then there are other times I recall moments with breathtaking clarity. These memory moments hold the beauty, the joy and the love we are all here to experience. My life is certainly different from the one I thought I would be living. Through it all I have come to realize we are here to love certain souls, unconditionally. Some we give birth to, others we meet in a serendipitous way, others are family. It is these soulful connections that I consider sacred moments that will live within us forever...like my precious angel, Chantelle Lee Lace.
Lacy you will Always be Loved & Never Forgotten
Thursday, July 11, 2013
((ྀ♥ αη∂ α νєяу ωαям
.ི৲(ྀ♥ ωєℓcσмє тσ...
MЄMƠƦƳ ƁƠҲ ƇƦЄƛƬƖƠƝS
and where I sometimes fashion lovely creations and share all things beautiful.
Լ♥ϋє ♥ Hεlεɳa ωнιтє
Always remember a ƑƦƖЄƝƊ may be waiting behind a strangers face.
Teddy Bear creations.This very special bear with the red hat is one of a set of twins that I made for a bereaved parent, using a piece of clothing of their loved one to
create a one of a kind keepsake.
I prefer to keep most of my items behind closed doors. I have a large closet type room down the hall where all my stash is. Trust me you’re not missing anything.
Bookcase to hold fabric and glass jars filled with buttons,
lace, stamps and ribbons.
Ribbons and lace and buttons oh my!
My Sewing Machine…Okay, I don’t really sew on a lace covered table, but it looks so pretty doesn’t it? lol!
My childhood doll.
A gift from my Uncle while visiting Hawaii
I found this used farmhouse style kitchen island at another local Shoppe. It is the perfect height for cutting fabric. Also I re-purposed my kitchen Bar stools, which are perfect for sitting and scrapbooking. It has tons of storage.
A recipe card holder is going to be re-purposed to hold pictures of my creations.
Button, Button, Who’s Got The Button? When I was a little girl, my Mom taught me how to sew on buttons, by having me practice sewing beautiful buttons onto the cardboard that was used to package silk nylons. I loved my button cards!
The ivory lace bear was one of the first bears I made out of my daughters graduation dress to safe guard her memory, which lead me to create other keepsake mementos for other bereaved parents who have lost a child.
One of my many embroidery samplers
My upstairs office studio
A place of my own
This is my first desk which we had made from a
Just Pine wood working shoppe
I love my black bookcase. Another great find
from my favourite local shoppe.
A room of my own where I enjoy my morning tea.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the tour? I want to thank you all for taking the time to visit and I look forward to mingling with all the quests at the party in hopes of meeting some new friends. Be sure to share a cup of tea or a glass of lemonade with me on the porch before you leave.