Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Missing You

Forever Loved ❤ Never Forgotten

Soft winds that whisper love's essence
are close by
just reach for acceptence
and never ask the why's

For Chantelle

Disquieting tears
From the past
Rise from my soul
And pool in my eyes
Love Mom

Today I am reminded how fleeting our time here on earth truly is. It has been twenty one years since my daughter Chantelle passed away…I recall a conversation with Chantelle weeks before her accident where she thought that people just forget about you after we die. Her viewpoint came from the loss of a friend, who only weeks before died from injuries suffered in a car accident. She was troubled by how seemingly everyone just continued on after the funeral. Soon after Chantelle’s accident, I vowed that I would keep her memory alive.

I’m often asked how I continue to cope after the unthinkable happens. It is impossible to convey how lost I felt at the time, however the way that I’ve been able to break free from the bottomless pit of grief is to trust the wisdom of my intuition – my ability to know something without rational evidence that proves it to be so. Life after life. To be so sure of something, yet unable to articulate it in words. I consider that to be my greatest spiritual gift. While searching for the need to find meaning in all that happened, I have learned to also respect the mystery of it all.

Throughout this journey I have taken many backward glances. The past is such a delicate thing. Most of the time memories are fragmented, like shards of broken glass. Then there are other times I recall moments with breathtaking clarity. These memory moments hold the beauty, the joy and the love we are all here to experience. My life is certainly different from the one I thought I would be living. Through it all I have come to realize we are here to love certain souls, unconditionally. Some we give birth to, others we meet in a serendipitous way, others are family. It is these soulful connections that I consider sacred moments that will live within us my precious angel, Chantelle Lee Lace.

Lacy you will Always be Loved & Never Forgotten

In loving memory of my daughter Chantelle
November 25, 1975 ❤ October 2, 1992

1 comment:

  1. It is so hard to read about the loss of your dear daughter, Chantelle, Helena. To know you have endured the thing which no parent should have to go through, and which every parent fears.

    I know that the passage of time is really meaningless, as a memory from 21 years ago is the same as a memory from a week ago, they are both memories, and one can be as sharp as the other.

    I remember, long ago, my Mother-In-Law, on my first Christmas visit, began crying suddenly, during the festivities. I didn't know why, until my husband told me she was crying for her 6 year old son, who had died over 20 years before. I had heard about this child's death, but had stupidly presumed as it was so long ago, and as she had 7 other children, she had gotten "over it" I shake my head at my stupidity now.
    Since I became a mother myself, I realize the loss of a child is not something you would ever "get over" no matter the time since the event, or how many other children you may or may not have.

    So dear Helena, as I read your words, know my heart goes out to you for your loss, and to every loving parent faced with the loss of a child, no matter whether that child be 4 or 40.


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