Monday, May 16, 2011

Seasons


The essence of lilacs in spring
 Baby Robins first flight sightings
The warmness of the summer sun

by the lake when our day is done
The splendor of  fall so tender
Winters snow blanket surrender

Our seasons spontaneous flings
like the scent of lilacs in spring







The Octain is a new poem form, invented by
 by Luke Prater for One Stop Monday.

10 comments:

  1. beautiful trip through the seasons you took us on pen - lovely
    let's have a look at the form - it's not that easy and you got a bit mixed up with the rhymes. just don't be discouraged - the first form poem i tried was horrible - i didn't get it at all - so it is a challenge and needs a bit of concentration - but this poem is really lovely and it's worth the work on it i think and we're all learning together.

    A The essence of lilacs in spring
    b Baby Robins first flight sightings
    b The warmness of the summer sun (b/b should rhyme - sightings/sun)

    a by the lake when our day is done
    b The splendor of fall so tender (this should rhyme with the above b as well)
    a Winters snow blanket surrender (a/a should rhyme - also with A)

    Our seasons spontaneous flings (this should be a b rhyme)
    like the scent of lilacs in spring

    ReplyDelete
  2. spontaneous flings, yes indeed...fall of course is my favorite...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just beautiful Helena, anyway I look at it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely spring poetry, Helena. Did you get my e-mail about doing an interview or did it go to spam? You were the 5000th commenter on my blog and I hope to interview every 1000th. What do you think? Let me know one way or the other, if you would.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This has a lovely, peaceful feel to it. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love how you flowed to all four seasons, nice.

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  7. helena - sorry i called you pen yesterday - got all mixed up a bit with looking at all the octains... sorry... luke will have a look at your second octain - really cool you tried again

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think this one's worth reworking to nail the rhyme-scheme, Helena. The poetry's very nice in places

    ReplyDelete

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